Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
