Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
