I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
