chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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