I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize