ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
