Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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