check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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