Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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