So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
