Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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