i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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