the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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