in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How's work?
Spinning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
