whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize