I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
