Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
