Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
