If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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