Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize