You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
