I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
