i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
