in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
