now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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