Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
