Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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