its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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