How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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