I accidentally had phone sex last night
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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