her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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