we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
