Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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