I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
