those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
