This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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