So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
