how can u be prego again
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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