ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
