y did u give ur computer a hand job?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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