We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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