White coat. Heels.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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