The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
