I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
