Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
