I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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