U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
