alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
