STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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