did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize