i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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