easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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