Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
