My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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