sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
