the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
