Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
