Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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