Me. At least after what I've been through.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
