I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
