What tipped you off? The sombrero?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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