Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
