The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
